It is very disheartening that I can make an 8 year old understand the concept of white privilege, but not the average adult.
From my oldest granddaughter who will forever here be known as Zeva, "Gigi, I'm glad I'm white."
Immediate panic mode...to self, "Who the hell corrupted my baby?!"
"Well, I'm darker than a lot white people. But I'm a pretty color. I don't know if I'd be as pretty with a different skin color."
Okay...okay. She is just making an observation and thinks her skin is a pretty color on her. I can work with this.
"Z, there's nothing wrong with that...as long as you never think your skin color makes you better than someone else with another color."
"Who would ever think that, Gigi?!"
"Well love, let us take your Uncle Le. There are people who hate him."
Confused look on her face, as this is a completely foreign concept to her.
So I further expound, "They hate him because he is black. Nothing else. They don't know him, have never had a conversation with him. But because his skin is black, they hate him."
Zeva, "Who could do that?! Why?! That's so mean!!!!"
"Z," I continue, "mostly because they were taught. Someone, when they were young, told them that people with a different color skin (and other things, but one lesson at a time) were less than...had no worth...were beneath them. And then, they taught their child the same thing. And the cycle continued.
"I just don't get that, Gigi! Why would a mom or dad would tell their kid that?"
Again, "Because their parents taught it to them. I'm not saying it's okay, or right. And I am definitely not taking the blame from the person who taught it. We all have the capacity to change."
"Z, there are ugly people in the world and confused people. I can deal with those who are confused and don't know that their behavior is wrong or out of date. They can grow and evolve. There is a chance to reach them.
I have a serious issue with ugly people. They are the reason the world is such a harmful place and why I worry."
She asked, "Why are you worried? What worries you, Gigi?"
What to tell an eight-year-old? You don't want to take that innocence and goodness that most all of them have from birth. But you want them to understand that they have a voice and that they should use it.
"Zeva, I worry about you and your sister (we'll be calling her Firefly) going out in the world. Being away from your loved ones. There are people out there who will hurt you for no other reason than they are bigger than you and can do it. Those are ugly people.
But one thing I don't worry about with the two of you is that I never have to worry about you being bullied, harmed, or hurt because of the color of your skin. I worry about your cousins every single day because of that."
"But Gigi," her distress for her cousins showing, "I have great cousins. It doesn't matter what color they are. They are beautiful, even if they are a different color than I am."
"My love, when humanity gets that...that right there...we can start healing this world of ours.
She gives me hope. She and others like her. I also give kudos and praise to the fantastic parents who raised them that way.
She is 100% right. They are beautiful boys. Each of them, inside and out.
My oldest grandson, Le II, used to define people's skin color as black, chocolate, pink, orange, and white. He, brother James, and Dad were chocolate. Mom was pink. Papaw was orange (red heads rock!) and Gigi was white. Brothers Mason and Carter fell in the spectrum between white and chocolate (side note, I'm actually darker than they were at the time). We didn't have any black people in our family but they played sports and went to school with black people.
It was all good. I love the things they come up with to describe their world.
Here we are, five years later, and racism is rampant. It has a voice that it didn't have 6 years ago. People are openly taking pride in their Nazism and racism.
Back on track here...for those who don't know, or think they know but don't, I'm going to take a stab at white privilege. I'm going to approach it the way I would that eight-year-old. Small words and plenty of visual concept.
Okay, here we go...
You are white. The term makes many uncomfortable because they are not used to being described by their race. Privilege makes poor white people who grew up with very little feel that the struggles they have faced are being questioned.
"I didn't grow up privileged. I got one new pair of shoes each school year and picked cotton after school most days!"
White privilege is not the assumption that what a white person has accomplished isn't deserved. Most white people that are successful have worked very hard to get there.
It also has very little to do with income and means on its own.
So let's call it an unequal advantage that you have for no other reason than you are white. These are things that have nothing to do with what you have or what you have done. You get these resources and powers that people of color do not get. Full stop.
In the olden days of our country, some of those privileges were citizenship, the right to vote, and the right to own property, including other humans.
As a white person, I have unconsciously enjoyed the benefits of privilege. I like to think I haven't consciously perpetuated the cycle. I am sure I have unconsciously.
And then there are those who carry it as a weapon and use it with abandon.
I never gave it a second thought that for most of my life, bandages were "flesh-colored". Of course, flesh-colored just happened to be my color flesh.
I use a lot of ethnic hair products. They are great products and work so well with my hair. It's super easy to find, too...it's in the "Ethnic Hair Products" section in the store. I haven't noticed the "Caucasian hair products" section. Wait, everything else is that section.
More openly, we can look at society for other privileges that I enjoy for no other reason than my skin color.
I've never been followed, interrogated, or searched by law enforcement because I look suspicious. My daughter and son-in-law have.
I am less likely to be presumed guilty of a crime because I am white. I am also much less likely to be shot while being white.
As a white person, I may not always realize that not all of us are given the chance to prove themselves individually before being judged.
As a white person, I am less likely to be shot while unarmed by law enforcement.
A study conducted in Australia illustrates how white privilege can manifest in day-to-day interactions—daily reminders that one is not worthy of the same benefit of the doubt given to another. In the experiment, people of different racial and ethnic identities tried to board public buses, telling the driver they didn’t have enough money to pay for the ride. Researchers documented more than 1,500 attempts. The results: 72 percent of white people were allowed to stay on the bus. Only 36 percent of black people were extended the same kindness.*
People of color did nothing to deserve this...white people did nothing to earn it. Racism...systemic racism and bias. That's it.
You may not be aware of it in your life as you walk along the streets, but this privilege is the result of conscious choices made long ago and choices still being made today.
Another thing that I see and that infuriates me to no end...if you are white and commit a heinous crime, you were abused. You had a mental condition. You were bullied at school.
Or more recently, you were trying to help protect the police. Even though you crossed state lines, brought a gun that you, as a teenager, were not even allowed to purchase, and put yourself in the middle of a situation that was absolutely none of your business. People, more specifically, white people, are out there looking for excuses to justify what you did. If you break the law in order to "help" the law, you are still a criminal and deserve to be punished.
These are the same white people who, even while seeing video of 3 officers physically holding him down while he begged to be released because he couldn't breathe...who was being held down by an officer who had been reprimanded 14 times for excessive force and abuse of power, tried to dig up every reason under the sun to find George Floyd deserving of that treatment.
This mindset, for me, is the latest white privilege to raise its head...or maybe it's the inherent racism that seems to live in so many people who "have a black friend."
Well, I have a black son-in-law...doesn't mean I haven't had to learn, grow, and evolve to let go of past behaviors that were simply wrong.
Racism exists...wishing it away won't make it go away. Acknowledging it and listening to those who have been a victim are all ways to gradually make it go away. You have to actually hear what is being said for it to work, however.
I have a few places I need to go that touch on this subject, but that's all for now.
~D
